July 14, 2014 by Diana M
It’s been too long since I actually took the time to take care of myself, especially of my body. I was always the type of girl to sit lazily on the couch and watch a movie (or 3!), while munching on snacks and wearing t-shirts three times my size.
I was also always the skinny girl growing up and people actually made fun of how thin I used to be. But then I got to college, and I ate so much junk food, that I was bound to gain some weight eventually. And now, even though I still look rather thin, I know I’m not nearly as healthy as I should be…
One of the resolutions that I made for this year (and every other year actually) was to work out more. What makes this year different is my attempt at making my own Happiness Project, inspired by Gretchen Rubin’s book. I made a couple of resolutions and I’m trying to stick to them. Well, trying is a bit of an overstatement. Struggling is more like it. Basically, I’m failing lamentably, but at least I haven’t completely given up yet. There’s still hope.
A thing that really bothered me though was when I went out this past Saturday night with the girls. I was wearing this really nice black dress, that was rather short. For the first time in a long time, I felt insecure about my legs being exposed. I hated it. I hated the feeling that I might be judged because my legs are not as sculpted as those of other girls. And even though I love my body overall, and I’m madly in love with parts of my body, I still feel insecure about some other parts.
I realized this had to stop. Not just my twisted thoughts, but also my sedentary way of life. If I wanted to take a step forward to my happiness, I had to feel good, feel healthy, and act on it.
So the very next day, on a Sunday, I got my hungover butt out of bed, got a membership, and did it. I actually went to a gym! Now is day two, and I came back from a Pilates class and my God, did that shit hurt! I mean talk about legs bending and muscles hurting that I didn’t even know were there. I was sweating my calories off within 5 minutes of the freakin’ class!
But you know what? I did it! I went to the gym on a Sunday, I went to the gym again today too. And it hurt like hell, but I pushed through it.
And today, happiness is…taking that step forward. Pushing that limit, doing more, not giving up, feeling determined to make that change.